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Andrew Bartlett's avatar

Dani, your title “Tiptoeing through the Complementarian Minefield” powerfully summarises the problem. But, as I commented on your earlier piece, the uncertainty is baked in.

The uncertainty has multiple causes.

In my view (though I guess not in yours), one of the causes is the lack of explicit Scriptural support for complementarianism. For example, there is no explicit command in Scripture from God to men, saying that men ought to lead women or to exercise authority over them.

Ben Flack's avatar

I often reflect back on how I understood things when I was complementarian and part of an elder session, and your point about the minefield brought this thought to mind:

What complementarian men in leadership want is to have their relationship to God—as they see it— mirrored in women's relationship to them. Meaning: you deserve nothing, but because the one in authority over you is glorious, you are given mercy.

What does that mean in practice? You're meant to address the minefield through submission to authority, not through clear boundaries that let you make your own decisions. Women should act as though they are fully restricted by default, and let men/leaders give them permission, case-by-case, when and where they may step in the minefield, because those judgements are solely their responsibility as the protectors of the church's purity. Since God has placed them in authority, their benevolence should be trusted just as if you were trusting God himself.

So, men are never obligated to give women any place in the church, and when they do it should be cause for gratitude. Just like with God. And wow isn't that beautiful that they want to be like God to the women around them? Isn't it good that they want to be like God? 🐍

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