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Matt Marlowe's avatar

Thank you for this. As a gay celibate man myself, it’s v useful to have reminders to not put myself above straight single people, to not think my struggles are worse. I think it’s valuable to talk about the ways our difficulties are different, but grief is grief. In some respect I feel I’ve had it easier somewhat to process the grief of my celibacy cus ive known for certain that I ain’t never gonna marry, have kids etc. since I was 15. Ofc I found that v difficult, but knowing that was what was gonna happen for sure allowed me to be more at peace with it I think. In contrast, as you described, some of the straight single people I’ve known have said that they found it v difficult that they didn’t know if they’d ever married, the fact that was always a possibility made it harder to process. My point is not to say I’ve had it easier and straight single people have it harder (or vice versa for that matter) but rather that it’s okay and good to recognise that our difficulties are different, have different dynamics. Different people experience these difficulties in different ways, some people find some aspects easier and some aspects harder, but what’s relevant is that we should, as you articulated, shoulder each others burdens, in love and discipleship and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit

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Brad Hansen's avatar

I've seen a number of posts/articles which express the same outlook as the one Dani has quoted.

What baffles me is the incongruity of believing that God did me wrong in giving me those desires AND that God will reward me more for my "sacrifice." If God is so fallible as to assign you the wrong desires, on what basis can you trust that God can and will recompense your "sacrifice"? Or does the cross represent God's apology to humanity? Either way, the universe seemingly must revolve around me, my griefs, my rights, and my needs. I think that's what makes these comments so tragic.

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