Not Conforming is Not Enough

One of the things I’ve been busy with of late has been writing three new talks on marriage, singleness and divorce for a women’s conference being held this coming weekend. When the conference organisers first invited me to speak, I think we all expected I would devote one talk to each of the three topics under discussion. However, after hearing them reflect on why they had chosen this topic and how they felt the women attending could be most helpfully served in my addressing of it, I suggested a different approach.

Instead of doing one talk on marriage, one talk on divorce and one talk on singleness, I’ve written a series on relationships that flows out of, and is framed around, Romans 12:1-2:

¹ I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. ² Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (ESV)

After spending a lot of time in these two jam-packed verses over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself repeating one refrain over and over again in my head.

“It’s not enough to not conform”

Oh, certainly, Paul makes it very clear that Christians are not to be conformed to this world—or what the NIV describes as the “patterns of this world”. My first talk is premised on the fact that the world is very good at conforming us to its patterns, and often without us being in the least aware of it. We are each like a bowl full of liquid jelly, being poured into a worldly mould, settling into all its nooks and crannies, solidifying into its shape… coming out looking just like it.

As those whom Christ has chosen out of the world (John 15:19), we are not to be moulded to it. And yet, we could all resolutely determine not to be conformed to this world, but then what? What shape should we take on? What nooks and crannies should we settle into? What should we come out looking like?

Not conforming is not enough.
We also need to be “transformed by the renewal of our minds”.

We must also be transformed

I find it so interesting that in Romans 12:2, Paul calls for his readers to undergo a transformation that comes through the renewal, not of their hearts (as we might expect), but of their minds. This transformative mind renewal will allow them to “discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect”.

Paul’s focus on the mind in Romans 12:2 echoes back to the previous verse, and specifically his use of the adjective modifying worship (“spiritual” in the ESV and “true and proper” in the NIV). The original Greek word is logikēn and it means logical, rational, or reasonable. At first glance, this seems a rather unusual word for Paul to have used in the context of Romans 12:1

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your rational/logical/reasonable worship.”

But I love how Christopher Ash draws the connection in his short commentary on Romans:

“Offered bodies come from changed minds, for the mind is the parliament of the body, where feelings are felt and assessed, options are considered, decisions are made, and affections are determined.”

- Christopher Ash

The transformation that comes through the (gospel-shaped and gospel-powered) renewal of our minds is a transformation that sees us become those conformed not to the will of the world, but to the will of its creator. Such transformative conformity shapes us into the logical, rational, reasonable people we were created to be—those who discern and practice what is good and perfect in God’s sight. It allows us to offer our bodies—our whole selves—to him as living sacrifices. It marks us out as those who are holy and acceptable to him, who worship him truly, properly, spiritually logikēn-ly.

It is not enough to not be conformed to the patterns of this world. We must also be transformed by the gospel-shaped, gospel-powered renewal of our minds.

A case study in non-conformity, but not transformation

As I was writing the third talk in my series, on the other side of the world a man was giving a different talk. On Saturday May 11th, Kansas City football player Harrison Butker gave a commencement speech to the Catholic Benedictine College’s Class of 2024. And, well, social media exploded. Let’s just say that he copped a lot of backlash for veering off the world’s script. (You can read the full text of the speech here or watch the video itself here).

To be honest, I didn’t pay a lot of attention to all the palaver. (American football players are not of much interest to this Rugby Union watching Aussie). But one thing did catch my attention—the number of evangelical Christian leaders who posted supportive, complimentary, “heck yeah, preach it brother!” type comments, especially in response to what Butker said about the vocations of men and women.

Experienced evangelical leaders were calling this young(ish) Catholic layperson “courageous” for saying what he did. They said that even though they disagreed with his Catholic doctrine, he spoke “perceptively about the goodness of God-made manhood and womanhood”. They celebrated his “manly courage” and (metaphorically) rolled their eyes at the outrage he was enduring for just “saying what Christians have believed for two thousand years”.

In other words, they loved his non-conformity to the patterns of this world.

They loved comments like this:

“I want to speak directly to you [women] briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you”

And this:

“…this class, this generation, and this time in our society must stop pretending that the things we see around us are normal.”

And this:

“Part of what plagues our society is this lie that has been told to you that men are not necessary in the home or in our communities.”

And this:

“Be unapologetic in your masculinity, fighting against the cultural emasculation of men.”

They LOVED his non-conformity.

But they loved Butker’s non-conformity so much that they were largely willing to overlook his non-transformity. (And yes, I did just make that word up).

They so loved the parts where Butker stuck it to the world, that they were willing to just quickly by-pass, even ignore altogether, those comments which did not reflect gospel-renewed transformation of his mind.

Comments, for example, like this one:

“[My wife] is the person that knows me best at my core, and it is through our marriage that, Lord willing, we will both attain salvation.”

Did you catch that? Lord willing, it will be through marriage that he and his wife will attain salvation. Harrison Butker is a Catholic. Catholics believe that marriage is a sacrament, and that sacraments are efficacious expressions of the saving power of God—that is, they are an actual means of grace. Meanwhile, evangelicals do not believe marriage is a sacrament, and we do not believe sacraments are efficacious for salvation.

But let’s not allow a little thing like a fundamental difference in our understanding of God’s grace distract us from a mutual commitment to non-conformity. Preach it brother!

The same goes for a comment like this:

“The road ahead is bright. Things are changing. Society is shifting. And people, young and old, are embracing tradition. Not only has it been my vocation that has helped me and those closest to me, but not surprising to many of you, should be my outspoken embrace of the traditional Latin Mass. I've been very vocal in my love and devotion to the TLM and its necessity for our lives… The TLM is so essential that I would challenge each of you to pick a place to move where it is readily available.”

Again, did you catch it? Society is shifting, people young and old are embracing God’s Word. Ahem. Sorry, I mean “tradition”. They are embracing tradition.

Now remember, Butker is a Catholic, and Catholics hold to the authority of Big-T Tradition. He thinks there is a particular sort of T/tradition which is such a “necessity for our lives… so essential” that he advises his young listeners to move somewhere it is available—the Traditional Latin Mass (TLM).

What is the TLM? Well, it is a very old form of the Catholic Mass offered almost entirely in Latin (i.e., the majority of it is incomprehensible to 99.99% of people). There is some other unique stuff about it (such as the fact that the priest offers the Mass with his back to the people). But most significantly, like any Catholic Mass, in the TLM the priest offers the Sacrifice of Christ to the Father, in atonement for sin. As Butker explains:

“I still go to the TLM because I believe the holy sacrifice of the Mass is more important than anything else.”

In other words, Butker holds to the t/Traditional Roman Catholic view that Jesus Christ is necessarily re-sacrificed at every Mass celebration, and that this is absolutely vital. Yet this is something Protestants fundamentally reject and vigorously deny, holding as we do to the fact that “Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God,” (1 Peter 3:18).

But hey, let’s not allow a little thing like a fundamental difference in our understanding of the efficacy of Christ’s death distract us from a mutual commitment to non-conformity. Preach it, brother!

Along a similar line:

“Never be afraid to profess the one holy, Catholic, and apostolic Church, for this is the Church that Jesus Christ established, through which we receive sanctifying grace.”

Protestants don’t believe that sanctifying grace comes through the Church. But again, what’s a little heresy about the grace of Christ and work of the Spirit in light of a mutual non-conformity? Preach it, brother!

Changing focus a little, let’s look at something he said amid his comments directed to the young women in the Class of 2024. After telling them that they “should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives”, he went on to “venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world”. Butker continued:

“I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother.”

Her life truly started when she began living into her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I’m sorry, but what a ridiculous statement. And what a particularly ridiculous statement to say to a bunch of young adult women who have just spent the last 3-4 years applying themselves to meaningful study, outputs, relationships and social development.

Of course, the vocations of wife and mother bring unique, wonderful, extraordinary (and often also very challenging and difficult) changes to a woman’s life. Of course, her life dramatically shifts as a result. But no woman’s life “truly starts” only once she has a ring on her finger and a baby at her breast.

Our lives begin at conception because we are made in God's image. We begin living life to the full when we trust in Jesus as the one who gives abundant life. None of us will be wives or mothers in eternity, yet that is where we will truly, perfectly, fully live. Forever. As I said, what a ridiculous statement.

But not only is Butker’s comment theologically erroneous, it is pastorally destructive. How do you think never-married Christian women, infertile Christian women, divorced or widowed Christian women feel upon hearing that? How do you think all of those women (most of whom would dearly love to be married to a godly Christian man) feel when they hear a man essentially say that women live in suspended animation until such a time that they become a wife and a mother?

But hey, why let a little thing like theological error and the pastoral devastation of countless sisters in Christ distract us from our mutual commitment to non-conformity? Preach it, brother!

Just one more, OK?

“Everything I am saying to you is not from a place of wisdom, but rather a place of experience”

This one is a little different because this remark is actually straight out of the ‘conformity-to-the-world playbook’. After all, the authority in our world is what? Lived experience.

We’ve got a 28 year old football player here advising young men and women about how they should live, and what is the basis for his advice? Not wisdom (however that is defined) but his experience.

In every other arena—especially in the LGBTQ/same-sex attraction arena—evangelicals are enthusiastic in their pushback against the authority of lived experience. And this is usually for good reason (even as it is also usually not done as lovingly as it should be). Sin has corrupted our minds and hearts, and we’ve been given over to our futile thinking (Romans 1). Our experience is far from trustworthy, let alone authoritative.

But when we have a young Catholic guy speaking from his lived experience (rather than from wisdom or God’s Word) to recruit others into his non-conformity, well then, that’s A-OK! Nothing to see here. Preach it, brother!

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Friends, not conforming is not enough.

It is not enough for us to throw our arm around his (broad footballer) shoulders in mutual commitment to non-conformity, all while we know he doesn’t share a mutual commitment to the transformation of authentic gospel-shaped renewal of his mind.

Is it wrong for evangelicals to publicly acknowledge that they agree with aspects of his talk? Not at all. But when evangelicals enthusiastically offer public support for his “manly courage” and his wise perception on matters of non-conformity to the big, bad world, all while remaining largely silent about or casually cavalier of his false teaching about the gospel itself… then something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

Here is what we got:

“So-I-don’t-agree-with-all-the-Catholic-stuff-and-whatever. But wow, guys!!!! Did you see all the stuff he said about women and wives and mothers?! And men and husbands and fathers?! Oh and also work and vocation and how women’s greatest calling is marriage and motherhood!? Seriously, this guy is awesome! And brave. And courageous. And perceptive. I stand with him in refusing to conform to the ways of this world. You should too. Preach it, brother!”

Here is what I wish we got:

“Yeah, so I think he’s got some good insight to offer about God’s created distinctions between men and women, the significance of marriage and parenthood, the way we can be sucked into the world’s way of thinking and so on. There is some decent stuff in there. But, wow. He’s got the gospel wrong. He’s got salvation wrong. He’s got sanctification wrong. He’s got authority wrong. He’s got the church wrong. He’s got marriage wrong. He’s got Jesus wrong. Sure, he’s rocking it on the whole non-conformity thing. But what is he urging people to conform to instead? It’s not what I think the Bible teaches.”

Friends, not conforming to the world is not enough.

We need transformation to a new, better, far more wonderful kind of conformity—conformity that comes through the renewing of our minds according to God’s word, conformity to what is good, acceptable, and perfect in God’s sight, conformity that leads us to offer our whole selves as living sacrifices to God as our logical, rational, reasonable, spiritual, true, proper, logikēn act of worship.

As Jesus’ disciples we are called to something far grander than mere non-conformity to the world. We are called to the dramatic transformation of the gospel in our lives.