One passing comment about marriage, children, singleness, sex and so on is never just one passing comment. Instead, it is part of a larger discourse. It needs to be read in the context of the bigger story. It needs to be understood as something that both flows out of that broader narrative while also reciprocally informing and shaping that same narrative’s future.
A writer friend shared your article with me and while I have no context for the Twitter conversation that ensued from your holding a younger brother in Christ accountable for the words he used, I do want to say thank you!
Thank you for giving me words to use for my own experience. Thank you for writing this so I can share with others who don’t understand why I “nit pick” at words everyone uses. It’s easy for those who have lived the majority experience to ignore the blindspots, but for those of us who live in those blindspots, it’s impossible to ignore them!
The Body of Christ is meant to be whole. However, if single Christ-Followers don’t feel safe and welcomed in that Body, we aren’t functioning as a whole Body, but as a Body biased to the majority experience, and blinded to the fact that there is even a problem.
Apparently, Shane believes the married life is morally superior to the single life. He carries a big chip on his shoulder about singles. In a subtle sort of way, he creates his own spiritual hierarchy. Top of the list is husband/wife/many children. Infertile couples and singles take a back seat. I find Shane's demeanor reprehensible.
It's an interesting attitude because we all spend some time single. Almost half of married people will spend some if not many years single when their spouse dies. With increasing divorce rates there are even more single people in our churches - and I think divorced men have an even tougher time in church than most other singles. There are a lot of single people out there and not all church leadership understands that or has any idea how to cater for them once they get beyond the young adult stage but haven't as yet become elderly. It really shouldn't be all that hard - seeing singles as part of the congregation, including them and giving them opportunities to serve. That's about it!
That's uncaring and untrue to call a well-written piece like this "waffle". I'd like to read some of your well-researched arguments of what in this article is "waffle" in particular.
Yes, it is a minor point, as Dani pointed out in the first sentence of the article. The whole point is that often one clue can point to a whole attitude - in this case, Shane Morris' unbiblical attitude towards singleness.
Nowhere here do I recognise "Shane Morris' unbiblical attitude towards singleness". He may indeed have such an attitude - yet, Dani does not amplify that in her text. None of the Shane's comments that Dani has indicated are inclusive of Shane's quote of Scripture so it seems improprer to draw to how Shane has an "unbiblical attitude towards singleness".
Moreso, I charitably read 'unparralleled' to the defintion: "having no parallel or equal; exceptional" and accordingly find Shane to be quite fair.
You seem to be missing the point of the whole piece. Morris’ comments are not isolated offsides. They are part of a broader whole of his own comments on this matter. But more than that they are part of, entirely consistent with, and self-reciprocally confirming of a broader discourse on singleness , marriage, sex, sanctification and so on.
You’re welcome to find Shane’s comments fair and legitimate. For the reasons I’ve given, I do not.
I agree that there could be more evidence given as to Morris' view of singleness. I think we all probably need to research that for a more robust assessment. Five quotations from Twitter is inconclusive.
I disagree that you need to have someone quoting Scripture to comment whether their view is unbiblical. A view is unbiblical if it doesn't align with Scripture.
So, to put one of your "unparalleled" definitions in Morris' sentence, I think you're saying that "family and children are ... occasions of _no equal_ for love and self-giving". I disagree. I think Jesus and Paul have demonstrated equal occasions for love and self-giving.
If you use the "exceptional" interpretation of unparalleled, then I agree with you and Morris - yes, family and children are exceptional occasions for love and self-giving.
I agree that perhaps Dani hasn't got a solid foundation for some of her critiques of Morris as much as a book or talk by Morris might give. However, I think Morris' words towards Dani about her studies being "Christian singles grievance studies" and blaming Dani's words on low books sales is an appalling and unkind way to treat anyone, regardless of who they are and what they've said.
A writer friend shared your article with me and while I have no context for the Twitter conversation that ensued from your holding a younger brother in Christ accountable for the words he used, I do want to say thank you!
Thank you for giving me words to use for my own experience. Thank you for writing this so I can share with others who don’t understand why I “nit pick” at words everyone uses. It’s easy for those who have lived the majority experience to ignore the blindspots, but for those of us who live in those blindspots, it’s impossible to ignore them!
The Body of Christ is meant to be whole. However, if single Christ-Followers don’t feel safe and welcomed in that Body, we aren’t functioning as a whole Body, but as a Body biased to the majority experience, and blinded to the fact that there is even a problem.
Apparently, Shane believes the married life is morally superior to the single life. He carries a big chip on his shoulder about singles. In a subtle sort of way, he creates his own spiritual hierarchy. Top of the list is husband/wife/many children. Infertile couples and singles take a back seat. I find Shane's demeanor reprehensible.
It's an interesting attitude because we all spend some time single. Almost half of married people will spend some if not many years single when their spouse dies. With increasing divorce rates there are even more single people in our churches - and I think divorced men have an even tougher time in church than most other singles. There are a lot of single people out there and not all church leadership understands that or has any idea how to cater for them once they get beyond the young adult stage but haven't as yet become elderly. It really shouldn't be all that hard - seeing singles as part of the congregation, including them and giving them opportunities to serve. That's about it!
Beautifully, eloquently written... I'm just sorry it had to be said at all.
What a lot of waffle!. You split hairs on a minor aspect of Shane's tweet. Indeed, you seem to further the fertility crash.
That's uncaring and untrue to call a well-written piece like this "waffle". I'd like to read some of your well-researched arguments of what in this article is "waffle" in particular.
Yes, it is a minor point, as Dani pointed out in the first sentence of the article. The whole point is that often one clue can point to a whole attitude - in this case, Shane Morris' unbiblical attitude towards singleness.
The "one clue" is a very poor clue.
Nowhere here do I recognise "Shane Morris' unbiblical attitude towards singleness". He may indeed have such an attitude - yet, Dani does not amplify that in her text. None of the Shane's comments that Dani has indicated are inclusive of Shane's quote of Scripture so it seems improprer to draw to how Shane has an "unbiblical attitude towards singleness".
Moreso, I charitably read 'unparralleled' to the defintion: "having no parallel or equal; exceptional" and accordingly find Shane to be quite fair.
You seem to be missing the point of the whole piece. Morris’ comments are not isolated offsides. They are part of a broader whole of his own comments on this matter. But more than that they are part of, entirely consistent with, and self-reciprocally confirming of a broader discourse on singleness , marriage, sex, sanctification and so on.
You’re welcome to find Shane’s comments fair and legitimate. For the reasons I’ve given, I do not.
I agree that there could be more evidence given as to Morris' view of singleness. I think we all probably need to research that for a more robust assessment. Five quotations from Twitter is inconclusive.
I disagree that you need to have someone quoting Scripture to comment whether their view is unbiblical. A view is unbiblical if it doesn't align with Scripture.
So, to put one of your "unparalleled" definitions in Morris' sentence, I think you're saying that "family and children are ... occasions of _no equal_ for love and self-giving". I disagree. I think Jesus and Paul have demonstrated equal occasions for love and self-giving.
If you use the "exceptional" interpretation of unparalleled, then I agree with you and Morris - yes, family and children are exceptional occasions for love and self-giving.
I agree that perhaps Dani hasn't got a solid foundation for some of her critiques of Morris as much as a book or talk by Morris might give. However, I think Morris' words towards Dani about her studies being "Christian singles grievance studies" and blaming Dani's words on low books sales is an appalling and unkind way to treat anyone, regardless of who they are and what they've said.
Thxs