Christians should not look to sociology for “solutions” because doing so encourages us to cling to our preexisting, often unquestioned and sometimes deeply flawed assumptions. It too easily results in us prescribing ethical action that reflects those pre-existing (and often self-serving) assumptions, rather than the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I appreciate this kind of work. I have taken a hiatus from coming down on any basis for Christian Ethics (sociological or theological) as it seems to me to be based in lack and brokenness in all regards (yes, even our historical theological arguments). So in this case we argue that we ought to get married because the fields where we grow our societal happiness are barren and as members of society we bear the sociological burden of making the world a better place which, of course, means getting married. I guarantee that no one in their early 20s is getting married for the sake of societal happiness nor for our contrived theological reasons--so the "you'll be happier" argument is a bluff akin to telling the friend who always shows up an hour late that the party is actually at 8:00 rather than 9:00 so that they show up on time.
When my wife and I got married it didn't make us happy--in fact, it made us miserable and poor and tired. We loved each other and that cause us immense social and financial pain. By all sociological arguments we should have separated--but we didn't. It doesn't do to ask what we should or shouldn't have done to whether or not it was ethical (whatever that means)--those questions don't even come into it except through hindsight and in hindsight all we can say is that we were married and that it caused a dustup. As I read recently, "once you are married there is no being more married or better married or worse married, you are just married!" All of this to say that I have very little patience for people who boast God's will for their lives in sociological or theological terms because I'm fairly certain that God's will for us is not incumbent nor encumbered on or by our personal life decisions.
I appreciate this kind of work. I have taken a hiatus from coming down on any basis for Christian Ethics (sociological or theological) as it seems to me to be based in lack and brokenness in all regards (yes, even our historical theological arguments). So in this case we argue that we ought to get married because the fields where we grow our societal happiness are barren and as members of society we bear the sociological burden of making the world a better place which, of course, means getting married. I guarantee that no one in their early 20s is getting married for the sake of societal happiness nor for our contrived theological reasons--so the "you'll be happier" argument is a bluff akin to telling the friend who always shows up an hour late that the party is actually at 8:00 rather than 9:00 so that they show up on time.
When my wife and I got married it didn't make us happy--in fact, it made us miserable and poor and tired. We loved each other and that cause us immense social and financial pain. By all sociological arguments we should have separated--but we didn't. It doesn't do to ask what we should or shouldn't have done to whether or not it was ethical (whatever that means)--those questions don't even come into it except through hindsight and in hindsight all we can say is that we were married and that it caused a dustup. As I read recently, "once you are married there is no being more married or better married or worse married, you are just married!" All of this to say that I have very little patience for people who boast God's will for their lives in sociological or theological terms because I'm fairly certain that God's will for us is not incumbent nor encumbered on or by our personal life decisions.
Again, yes, and amen!
Brilliant as always Dani!
This! Well done, Dani.
Thank you for this discerning & biblically sound essay. It is a blessed form of encouragement to me today!