Top Five of 2024
I promise that the fourth and final post in the eunuch series is coming (sorry, Christmas broke my momentum)! In the meantime, I thought I’d wrap up 2024 with a Top 5 Retrospective.
So, without further ado, here are my five most read posts of this year.
1. On Sitting in Church... Alone
Pssst: This was my most-read post… by a very long shot.
“During those months, I would walk into church and sit in a pew by myself. The pew in front of me was roped off. The pew behind me was roped off. In theory, if I sat at one end of the pew, then another lone person could come and sit right down at the other end of the pew. But in reality, almost nobody did that. For months, I sat alone in a pew, totally isolated, with nobody being allowed anywhere near me, watching family households walk into church and sit together week after week.
I spent most of those Sunday mornings either fighting back the tears or weeping silently. I have never felt as wretchedly alone as I did in church during those months.”
2. Don’t Just Do It
“Let me speak frankly, earnestly and urgently.
Christians (and especially pastors), PLEASE stop telling young, immature men with a lack of self-control just to go out there, “find a godly gal” (anyone will do), and get married.
Wives are not the ready-made solution to those men’s immaturity. They are not an off-the-shelf remedy for those men’s lust.
Pastors encouraging, nay, commanding young Christian men who exhibit significant social and spiritual immaturity to just find someone, “pop the question, tie the knot and start making babies” is… well, it’s just 🤯. It puts the bulk of the burden of that guy’s selfishness, unreliability, fear of commitment, and lack of maturity on their young wife. She’s meant to be the solution, the thing that will set him on the right path.”
3. The Church and its "Useful" Singles
“I’d be doomed for perpetual disappointment and frustration if I expected a Christian publisher to only ever publish stuff I agreed with. Indeed, they’d be doing me a disservice if they did! I need to engage with the views, perceptions and Scriptural interpretations of others. I need my own views, perceptions and Scriptural interpretations to be quizzed and challenged. I’ve matured enormously—in my theological thinking, my pastoral care and my personal godliness—by interacting with faithful Christians who think differently from me on a whole range of matters.
And so, as I clicked on the link to read ‘Promote Marriage and Dignify Singleness by Prioritizing God’s Mission’ by Jared Kennedy, I wasn’t sure what to think. And by the time I got to the end of the article I still wasn’t sure what I thought. I felt a bit disoriented, unsure quite what to make of it.”
4. A Ruling on the 'Billy Graham Rule'
“Here is the thing: when it comes to the Billy Graham Rule. We’re used to hearing how much is at stake for the man and why this necessitates the rule being put firmly into place. But what about the women on the other end of the rule?
Here’s the irony. The man puts the rule in place in order to keep his reputation free from stain. But doing so requires him to first of all conceive of that woman as a threat to his godliness. The rule puts him above reproach, while it simultaneously casts her into a default position of stained reproach.
The man puts the rule into place because he is concerned about protecting himself from the possibility of being falsely accused. But doing so requires him to first of all conceive of that woman as someone who might falsely accuse him. The rule puts him beyond the reach of being falsely charged, while it simultaneously perceives her as someone who might charge falsely.”
5. Peering at Marriage & Singleness Through the Lens of the Gospel
“Brothers and sisters, our bread and butter as Christians is not in found in reestablishing some perceived societal “status quo”. Rather, it is living out the Bible’s teaching as those transformed by the gospel of Christ. As we do this, we bear fruit, love the society around us and witness to the transformative power of that good news
And so, the best way to “defend” against singleness being misappropriated by a world that sees it as a license for self-indulgence, self-fulfilment and self-focus is not for us Christians to talk about singleness less, or to talk about singleness less positively.
No, our best response to the world’s corruption of the goodness of singleness is found in upholding the dignity, meaning, significance and purpose of that life situation according to God’s word.”