When We Veer From Our Lane...
So far in this series about sociology, the gospel and Christian ethics, we’ve explored:
Post 1: The importance of ensuring the gospel remains our foundational lens and framework
Post 2: The growing tendency amongst some Christian leaders and commentators to turn to sociology as an authoritative guide for ethical “solutions” (especially regarding marriage and singleness)
Post 3: Several reasons why such a move ought to be recognised as highly problematic
In this final post (yes, I promise this is the last one!), we’ll consider a case study that shows us just how much goes wrong (and just how wrong we get it) when we rely on sociology rather than theology to determine Christian ethical “solutions”. The case study in question is the Nationwide Study of Faith & Relationships report published by Communio. The report can be downloaded for free here.
Casing the Context
Before we dive into the actual report itself, we need to understand its broader context. Don’t skip this bit, thinking it is just boring details that don’t matter. As we will see, they do matter. A lot.
According to their website:
Communio is a nonprofit ministry that trains and equips churches to share the Gospel through the renewal of healthy relationships, marriages, and the family
[…] Communio partners with churches across all Christian faith traditions to build out Data-Informed, Full-Circle Relationship Ministries®. Every partnership starts with a comprehensive diagnostic of the relationship health quality of the church – and the community. That data informs the development of a ministry strategy…
[…Full-Circle Relationship Ministry® helps churches provide] vision, community, and skills to individuals at each stage of a relationship – leveraging 21st century tools of predictive analytics and microtargeting to reach out to those in your community most likely in need of help.
Communio developed out of the Culture of Freedom Initiative at The Philanthropy Roundtable, which “raised and spent $20 million over three years in three different states seeking to identify the most effective strategies to boost marital health, family stability, and church engagement.”1 Communio believes that “family decline drives faith decline”.2
In summary, Communio is an American Christian non-profit which partners with American churches to develop ministry strategies based on the findings and analysis of sociological data for the sake of sharing the gospel through the renewal of healthy relationships, marriage and the family.
Casing the Agenda
Ok, so why do all that context setting?
Well, because we need to recognise that there are a set of pre-existing commitments that compel Communio’s activities. These commitments are:
Training and equipping churches “to evangelize through the renewal of healthy relationships, marriages, and the family”.3 As put it elsewhere, Communio “serves you to make marriage central to your church”.4
Doing this by helping churches develop ministry strategies that are informed by sociological data, analysis and targeting.
In other words, Communio has an agenda.
Now, that shouldn’t be read as a controversial or even critical statement. All organisations have an agenda—a range of existing assumptions and goals that drive their strategic and operational focus. Communio’s Nationwide Study on Faith and Relationships report is responsive to and informed by their specific organisational agenda.
Casing the Data
Right. Let’s turn to the actual report itself (again, you can download it free right here).
The Nationwide Study on Faith and Relationships (NSFR) examines the interplay between faith and relationships amongst churchgoing American Christians. The data in the report is drawn from:
…more than 19,000 completed surveys […] from 112 evangelical, Protestant, and Catholic congregations in 13 different [American] states. The survey was deployed by churches through mobile devices during in-person services or liturgy on Sunday or Saturday evenings.5
There is a lot of information, discussion and analysis in the report. But I want to focus on just one particular aspect—the report’s findings and conclusions about loneliness amongst (American) churchgoers.
The report offers some information about the rates of loneliness in American society—namely that somewhere between 40-58% of all Americans today consider themselves lonely (p.11). It continues:
“Loneliness has been defined by experts in psychology as a state of mind with the perception of being alone and isolated. Being considered lonely has been found to shorten lifespans having the same public health effect as smoking 15 cigarettes per day” (p.11-12).
While we are on the topic, let me take us out of America for a moment and say that we’re seeing similar statistics in my own country. According to this fact sheet from Australian research and public policy organisation, Publica:
30% of Australians say they never, or rarely, feel close to people (p.1)
38% of young men and 68% of young women reported feeling lonely some of the time (p.4)
18% of young men and 24% of young women said they felt lonely often. (p.4)
Loneliness is a serious problem in today’s Western societies. Indeed, many social commentators talk about an epidemic of loneliness.
But what about loneliness in the church? Well, heading back to the NSFR, it’s good news!
While loneliness in American society sits between 40-58%, only 22% of American churchgoers are considered lonely (p.3). The rates of loneliness in the church are more than half that in society.
Except… when you peek behind the curtain, well, the story isn’t so good. You see, the report shows that one particular factor plays a very significant role in whether individual churchgoers feel lonely. Do you care to guess what it is?
15% of married churchgoers are considered lonely (p.3).
But 50% of single churchgoers are considered lonely (p.3)
Single churchgoers are more than three times as likely to be considered lonely. This massive discrepancy is well represented in a graph that shows loneliness according to married/never-married status and age.
Look at how much more navy blue there is on that graph than red. And while you’re mulling that over, let me give you some more detailed stats from the report.
68% of never-married men and 64% of never-married women (in their 30s) are lonely (p. 14).
52% of divorced churchgoers are lonely (p.13).
53% of widows and 34% of widowers (under the age of 50) are lonely (p. 13).
And just in case you need reminding, only 15% of married churchgoers report feeling often or even just sometimes lonely.6
Casing the “Solution”
That many, many more unmarried churchgoers are lonelier than their married counterparts is not exactly breaking news for many single Christians. They are not at all surprised to see their experience translated into these kinds of startling statistics. There is a loneliness problem within the household of God. And one particular demographic is bearing the brunt of that problem.
Which is why I was pleased to read that the report recognises the significance of this problem:
The very existence of such a significant number of lonely single Christians should convict the hearts of pastors and married Christians everywhere. (p.15)
So, then, what is the solution to this heart-convicting problem?
Well, the report does contain some brief comments about the need for churches to engage singles in broader fellowship (p.15). Indeed, Communio’s website notes that 93% of churches do not offer any ministries for singles. Of course, it then goes on to explain why such ministries are needed: “This is a huge opportunity area to encourage healthy habits around dating or finding the right spouse for marriage”.7 In other words, churches need more ministry to singles to effectively transition people out of singleness.
But, anyway, back to the report. Yes, it does offer a few brief comments about the importance of singles and marrieds developing fellowship and friendship with one another in the church (p 15, 16).
However, there is one solution to the loneliness of single Christians that the report emphasises in metaphorical bolded, underlined italics on repeat. Can you guess what it might be?
The loneliness data for those who have never married reinforces the truth found in Genesis 2:18 that, “It is not good for the man to be alone” […] Far from being an idol, this data on the loneliness gap between single and married church goers reinforces the ongoing importance of marriage as a major solution for what ails the Church and her people (p. 14).
The report concludes that the church needs to rediscover a cornerstone model of marriage in which:
[…] marriage is seen as an essential relationship to construct a happy and successful life (p. 14).
[The cornerstone model] leads to less loneliness, more relationship satisfaction and greater happiness. These survey results show that the alternative leads to epidemic levels of loneliness and suffering among their congregants (p.14).
Delays in marriage […] lead to increases in those who will never marry and ultimately grows the loneliness epidemic (p.17)
And so:
[…] marriage remains an essential ingredient to achieving greater success, avoiding loneliness, and more quickly flourishing as an adult. For those who profess Christ, Christian marriage also remains a vital part of the walk of a Christian disciple (p. 16).
[…] Ultimately, pastors and church leaders must become serious and effective in both increasing the number of marriages and the health of those marriages. It appears revival across our larger society depends upon it (p. 16).
Church leaders must also find ways to balance the gender gap within the pews [… because] a lack of marriageable men, faithful to the gospel’s view of sex inside of marriage, remains a real and substantive obstacle to the cornerstone of marriage. The findings of this study suggest this gap is also a threat to the future vitality of Christian faith (p. 14-15).
Note the language of marriage being “essential” and “vital” for Christian discipleship and flourishing. Note also how gospel revival in our society “depends” upon increased and earlier marriage amongst Christians.
According to the NSFR, the “solution” to the loneliness problem experienced by single Christians in our churches is marriage. If they just got married (young), not only wouldn’t they be so lonely, but they’d also achieve greater success, they’d more quickly flourish and the church’s evangelism would be more effective.
To put it another way, the “essential” solution to the significant loneliness that singles experience within the spiritual household of God is to be found in them establishing their own earthly households and having their relational needs met there.
Casing an Absence
But do you know what doesn’t significantly contribute to the advice offered to church pastors and leaders in this report on the measures they need to take to improve not only the relational health of their church but the effective spread of the gospel in society?
Substantial scriptural engagement and lengthy theological reflection.
On marriage.8
On the family.
On singleness.
On community
But also on ecclesiology. And also on missiology.
There is no extended theological discussion about the nature of who the church actually is. There is no weighty reflection on the value and meaning of our eternal relationships with each other in the body of Christ and what that ought to mean relationally here and now. There is no substantial engagement with the New Testament’s near constant emphasis on the significance of us being each others’ brothers and sisters within the household of God.
There is no interaction with Jesus’ promise that those who forgo or miss out on significant earthly familial relationships receive hundred-fold spiritual familial relationships here and now (Mk 10:29-30). Such a “remedy” to the kind of loneliness on view in the report is, according to Jesus, not realised through marriage and the nuclear family (those things which have been forgone or missed out on), but in belonging to his body, the church.
Finally, there is no exploration of the fact that God calls people to himself in all sorts of relational situations and does not require them to change their situation to be faithful to the Lord and fruitful in ministry and evangelism (1 Cor 7:17-24).
In summary, this report seeks to advise church leaders about how to do effective ministry within their church family and evangelism outside it. And yet it contains no substantial biblical engagement and no robustly sustained theological reflection on the church, ministry and evangelism.
But…why would it?
It is a report published by an organisation whose mission is built upon its pre-existing commitment to the centralisation of marriage within the church as essential to the church’s health and its evangelistic efforts. It is also committed to the idea that the best way to see this happen is through a sociologically informed methodology.
Driving in the Right Lane
Friends, I’m not seeking to belittle, dismiss or negate the importance of the sociological insights contained in the NSFR report. In my last post I concluded that such sociological findings have their uses. When collected and analysed responsibly, they can provide us with important and interesting insights into the way things currently are, or at least the way things are currently perceived to be.
I’m not even critiquing the validity of Communio’s specific focus on renewing marriages and families within the church. God’s word calls us to honour, dignify and promote both divine goods. When people do the opposite of this, detrimental personal and societal implications follow. It is, therefore, valuable to have organisations like Communio esteeming and promoting them. (Though I do wish organisations equipping churches to do the same for the good of singleness were even just a quarter as populous and popular).
However, our recognition that sociology is of some value must not replace our commitment to theology as the foundational discipline that guides Christian ethics and informs the church's mission.
The sociologically framed NSFR report concludes that the major, essential, vital way to solve the loneliness problem for singles within the church is for those singles to get married. It proposes that becoming and having a husband or a wife is how their loneliness will primarily be eased.
But biblically framed theological reflection on that same sociological data leads us to a different conclusion. It compels us to recognise that the real problem here is not that the church doesn’t rightly value marriage. No, it is that the church doesn’t rightly value itself as the fulfilment of Jesus' promise that his followers will delight in one-hundredfold intimate relationships in this life. Bringing theology to bear on these stats reveals that the solution to the Christian person’s loneliness is not ultimately found in looking outside the church towards marriage and earthly households (good as both of those are) but in actively prioritising, investing in and loving the church—the household of God
Church pastors and ministry leaders, sociology has (limited) usefulness for Christian ethics and ministry strategy. But sociology is not our lane. Sure, we should feel free to look across to that other lane every now and then. But we must not veer across and start driving down the middle of it.
After all, there is a lot at stake. The sheep entrusted to your care will be best served, loved , equipped and encouraged to follow Jesus if you remain committed to the lane he has called you to.
So friends, let us feel free to engage with the data. But let us be driven by the gospel.
Emphasis added. https://communio.org/about/
Emphasis added. https://communio.org/about/
Frankly, I’m skeptical about this figure. It seems very low to me and may reflect an inability, unwillingness or sense of constraint amongst married Christians in acknowledging and self-reporting their experiences of loneliness.
On p.8 there are three short bullet points of theological reflection about marriage. But this is hardly a substantial theological interaction on the topic.